you have choices — you decide.

“say who you are. really say it in your life and your work. tell someone out there who is lost, someone not yet born, someone who won’t be born for 500 years. your writing will be a record of your time. it can’t help but be, but more importantly, if you’re honest about who you are, you’ll help that person be less lonely in their world, because that person will recognize him or herself in you, and that will give them hope. and it’s done so for me, and i have to keep rediscovering it; it’s profound importance in my life. give that to the world rather than selling something to the world. don’t allow yourself to be tricked into thinking that the way things are is the way the world must work and that in the end, selling is what everyone must do. try not to.” 

– charlie kaufman {screenwriter and director}

what legacy do i want to leave behind?

i hope it can be a tenth of the one that imoh left behind. you have inspired me, precious moh. always in our hearts.

it’s also made me realize just how precious life is. anyone who attended last weekend, left a different and better person. 

i briefly mentioned the pastor and the speeches – but they will truly stick with me for the rest of my life.

i feel like my perspective on life and priorities have changed so much in my 30’s- things i used to think were important- things i would relentlessly convey my opinions–trying to put them onto others? just isn’t the case anymore. 

i wish i could change these discussions from my past- 

but i guess that’s part of the process of growing. 

now- at 31- i respect that people have different opinions 

and try to always be open-minded.

i try to find the good in everyone {so thankful i wasn’t surrounded by mean girls {or guys!} in high school and college- i don’t remember them ever sitting around talking about others- i miss you all} although it took some time, i now have these {very dear} friends in my life here in north carolina. very blessed.

i am trying to communicate more with those who love me for me- 

who will always be there.

 and those who aren’t- 

i am letting go of- life is too short and constant negativity really brings me down. 

… 

there are defining moments 

when you find yourself in places you never thought you would be in 

paths you never imagined being on 

choices you never would have wanted to have to make

witnessing seeming injustices that you never would have wanted to witness  

in those moments you have a choice 

how are you going to react   

who are you going to become

what feeling are you going to give into.

…personally, i don’t want to look back when i am 80 and every year looked the same…

how do you want others to think of you? 

what qualities do you exude to others? 

how approachable do you want to be? 

how do you want to take care of your body? 

how do you want to spend your spare time? 

how devoted do you want to be to your faith?

{and the list goes on} 

to decide.

at the moment, i choose happiness

it’s not easy

natural thoughts go through my head 

trying to re-direct me 

for i decide

i decide to choose happiness

that’s who i am and

that’s who i want to stay

a place of peace 

a place of trust 

a place of loving others 

a place of patience

a place of forgiveness 

until a next fall comes

and then i will decide

i will decide again

to choose happiness

prayers my friends

i ask for your prayers

as we seek for answers for this one life-

and as we seek to make choices and decisions 

that are best for our lives

so we can leave a legacy 

that others will cherish 

one that will inspire others

to always strive to become a better person.