the greatest joy! | a new baby

on a sour note, i have been dealing with horrible nausea since the beginning of october. it was intense and lasted almost every second of each day. i did catch a break on halloween and enjoyed watching parks run from house to house. for whatever reason with this pregnancy, i became very sick right off the bat. looking back, this fall was quite dark and sadly, parts are a big blur. it was really difficult being so sick with a toddler by my side; heartbreaking to not be able to take care of him the way i love to… like bath time and reading books before bed. i love those quiet moments snuggled up with my baby boy- each and every day. i missed running around the park together, sharing a smoothie, going to the library/gym/yoga/grocery store, all of our typical daily adventures- just him and i. i will miss these days the way it is. i missed the ‘normal’ tasks that us parents do without really thinking about them. now, in the second trimester, i am doing much better. my husband was the biggest helper, a steady rock – truly. i am so thankful for him and his unconditional love for me and for parks. within the last week, i am starting to feel more like myself (and am going out in public again). this has been the best feeling, especially experiencing the magic that this month always seems to bring. i am praying that this continues and i am able to happily celebrate christmas in charlotte and new year’s in cincinnati with loved ones. 

this month has definitely been slower than a lot of our holiday seasons in the past- and i am perfectly fine with it. here. alone. in the quiet of our home. enjoying our pretty flocked tree as it shines at night (yet, i am also yearning for some girlfriend time soon as well.) but in my heart, i think this month has been the perfect way to end a year where i strove for balance, where i chased ‘slow’ more in my life; the idea of being present over anything else. we talked a lot in our moments together. baby names, how to spell them, how they would sound when they are twenty-three years old around a table with others. we would look at parks and wonder how in the world we created something so beautiful, how we will handle two children crying simultaneously, and how once parks goes to bed at night, our bodies settle. and this time; however tiring/debilitating, is sweet. becoming a mom almost two years ago, introduced me to the most profound joy imaginable. a new type of joy, one i deeply cherish. i appreciate everything. winter is one of my favorite times of the year and i love the idea of getting out all of the little newborn clothes and cozy swaddle blankets soon. 

we have prayed for this baby and are grateful for the opportunity to welcome him/her this summer. telling our family and friends this news was a lot of fun and today, i am excited to tell you all as well.