a grateful heart + little glimpses

good morning… i hope you had a nice weekend! our weekend had its up and downs. we have had an outpouring of love and messages from family and friends {and my amazing instagram family- i love you all, too} regrading our first trip to the emergency room with baby parks. when i picked him up to feed him late friday afternoon, i put my hand over his head like i usually do {i love playing with his hair} when i noticed a fairly large bump/raised area on the back of his head {where the head curves}. so i called the pediatrician right away and they told me to go straight to the er. as a new mom of only seven weeks, crazy and scary things were running through my head- especially because it was his head. honestly, i have never been so worried in my life. so i called mr. monaco and headed to the emergency room. i talked to my mom on the way {her and my dad were out in california} and she was so calming. i expressed to her on the way that if it was something serious- i just didn’t think i was strong enough for this job of being a mommy. she reassured me and reminded me that God would not give me anything that i could not handle. but i was so scared. i prayed the entire way. i prayed and i prayed~ ‘please let my son be ok. i love him so much.’  we arrived and checked in… and my hope was that they would say, ‘this is normal- we see this often… he’s ok and you can go.’ and instead we were admitted {bring on the bitty baby blue- for a boy– hospital gown… so sad} we were put into a large room with tons of machines… and that’s when the build-up of my emotions got the best of me. the sweet nurse who took us back and loved parks {she was a nicu nurse for fourteen years and said she loved the baby boys because they were always so cuddly} when we entered the room, it was all just too much for my mommy heart and i lost it. however, she was so supportive and i am grateful for her kind demeanor. he laid on my chest while many different groups of people continued to come in and i was just so scared every time… what were they going to say? was it serious? would he be alright?  three doctors and several nurses came in at one point and did an ultrasound. afterwards, they stated that they were going to leave the room for a second… more frightening things flooded my mind. they eventually came back and stated that they wanted to do a cat scan. they told us that it would be a 30-45 minute wait for the results after the cat scan was completed. every time the door would open, i would instantly grow concerned. they came back in and said he moved a tad during the scan and that they would have to re-do it… the waiting was so hard. finally, the doctor came back in {he was also so calming for me} and told us that the cat scan did not show anything dangerous. it was the best news. however, the whole thing is a mystery and the fact that none of them knew what the cause was is still concerning to me. they said that this can sometimes happen right after birth, but not usually at the seven week mark. we went to the pediatrician yesterday morning for a follow-up and they are referring us to a neurosurgeon to be cautious… please pray that everything is fine. we are scheduled to go next monday morning. i am truly trying to pray and tell myself that it’s nothing but until we have that appointment, it is very hard not to worry. being a mom is not for the tender-hearted {like me}. i learned this the hard way this weekend but have the biggest grateful heart at this point; knowing that the scan was clear. please pray for our sweet baby boy- i love him more than i ever thought a person could love. luckily, he’s not showing any abnormal signs or symptoms and has been a happy boy. that definitely makes everything a little easier for me as well… 
there were about eight people in the room during the ultrasound and parks was flirting with the nurses and doctors- everyone was laughing and loving on him. however, i felt like i was going to either cry or get sick. mr. monaco snapped this photo and now i am glad to have it
this was taken after the positive news from the cat scan
again, photos were not on my mind prior 
{nor was there smiling from this mom!}
we were excited to leave with good news and our baby 
i love you to the moon, parks. 
there were some good parts to our weekend: 
a stroll through my old neighborhood- elizabeth/e. 5th street 
we participated in the ‘get your rear in gear’ colon cancer 5k race saturday morning with my in-laws! it felt great to be active again! {even after a night of no rest and waking up to the first acne i have had in a long, long time- definitely from the stress of friday evening!} parks had a much better day… he loved the race ‘ride’ and some special time with nana and pop pop {who were so supportive at the er/were there with us!} at earl’s grocery after. he enjoyed his milk and i enjoyed the ham, jam and brie biscuit and an almond milk hazelnut latte – so good. 
we sent my mom a bonnie + bud gratitude gift box as a ‘thank you’ for everything she has done for us… it was waiting for her when she returned from california. she absolutely loved it. thank you, sweet whitney, of bonnie + bud – i love working with you and your work is stunning! not in charlotte? they ship… this beautiful box went to small-town, ohio
go check them out: bonnie + bud
{would be lovely to send as an easter gift!}
swooning over my milky pink sneakers from old navy 
the pretty pink trees are blooming throughout our city 
one of my favorite times of the year here in charlotte
i am a ‘seasons girl’ and can’t imagine living in a place that doesn’t have them 
the dogwood trees are gorgeous 
we headed to trader joe’s yesterday afternoon 
wearing my hunter green solly baby wrap 
parks in his favorite zutano booties 
they have the best flowers 
we purchased the tulips in the first photo of today’s post for $2.49
it’s on my computer desk and i love everything about it. 
we also enjoyed a special visit from my dear friend, joel
we grew up about five miles apart/he lives in charlotte as well… and i absolutely love his fun and genuine soul. so blessed to have him in our lives 
have any of you read this book? 
my sister recommend it and then it was picked for our march book club
i read about half of it this weekend and i already know that it will be life-changing for me and our family. i am a pretty ‘tidy’ person but have often had a hard time of discarding things in the past. plus, i have moved five times since moving to charlotte in 2007 and it was often a quick move. {so things were just brought from place to place and accumulated} however, i have mentioned on here recently about my goal of living a healthier and simpler lifestyle- a more organized and serene one. discarding has since become so much easier for me… and as a result, i feel so much happier in our nest- more at peace. in fact, when my mom was here last month, we donated about thirty trash bags of items!!! and organized so many areas of our home. i am excited to apply marie kondo’s methods as i continue this transition this spring. it’s fantastic. i am hoping to share what i learned from each of the five sections in the book with you on here. does anyone want to join me? a little blog book club discussion? comment below if you would like to join me!!
{Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images} 
i have been watching a lot of coverage regarding the passing of first lady, nancy reagan 
and i am mesmerized by the love story between her and president reagan 
it’s adorable. 
i feel like it’s touched me in a way that makes me want to be a better person
{Hulton Archive/Getty Images}
i love their sweet affection and the way they look at one another
reminds me a lot of my parents
my marriage role models 
{Rolls Press/Popperfoto/Getty Images} 
oh, the places you’ll go 
i simply love this children’s book 
i read it to parks about three weeks ago and instantly fell in love
{with tears rolling down my face} 
it’s adorable 
in the car- we hold hands. 
holding my boo bear a little closer these days 
when i went to put his pajamas on friday evening- i took his pants off and saw this. 
and all of the emotions came flooding back 
thank you again for the prayers 
more than ever, i am reminded of the importance of good health
it truly is everything. 
i think that as our family grows 
i would love to have a ‘family dance party’ every sunday evening
as we enjoy dinner together 
{usually sunday is our ‘take-out’ night for the week}
 i hope to dance together afterwards 
{what songs would be on your current ‘sunday night family dance party’ playlist?}
…to celebrate just that…
good health and our faith in God 
at the moment… i am trying so hard to stay positive 
but when you love someone this much- it’s so hard. 
please keep baby parks in your thoughts
thank you so much 
…what are you grateful for this week…
 come say hi – instagram . facebook . twitter . bloglovin  

Comments (10)

  • Anonymous

    March 7, 2016 at 7:47 pm

    Nelle, I am sending so many good vibes your way. I hope they figure out what's going on soon.

    1. nelle monaco

      March 10, 2016 at 5:38 pm

      thank you so much! i really appreciate it – xo

  • Unknown

    March 8, 2016 at 12:40 am

    Thinking of you guys, Prayers and Hugs Janelle! Stay strong!

    1. nelle monaco

      March 10, 2016 at 5:39 pm

      thank you, jenna! you are so sweet and it really means so much- xo

  • The Girl who Loved to Write

    March 8, 2016 at 3:18 pm

    I cannot even imagine how stressful that must have been for you! Praying that you get some answers and that everything is okay! xo

    1. nelle monaco

      March 10, 2016 at 5:39 pm

      thank you so much! the prayers are very, very much appreciated!! xo

  • Jennifer

    March 8, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    Oh how awful! I was hurting for you just reading this! Hope the doctors figure out what's going on soon!

    1. nelle monaco

      March 10, 2016 at 5:40 pm

      🙁 thank you so much! i can't wait for monday's appointment and answers- the waiting is so hard. hope your week is going well!!

  • Edye Nicole

    March 10, 2016 at 3:58 am

    I will keep you guys in my prayers!! Hope everything turns out okay <333

    Blessings,
    Edye // Gracefulcoffee.wordpress.com

    1. nelle monaco

      March 10, 2016 at 5:40 pm

      thank you so much! i really appreciate this – so much!!

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