i recently read the book, bringing up bebe, by pamela druckerman and i am dying to discuss with you. we had a really great discussion during my october book club and i wanted to share some thoughts/things i walked away with… she is an american mother of three, who moves to paris with her british husband and shares what she learns as she observes french parenting- and how this helped her to better raise her own kids. as i read, i agreed with almost everything i was reading… i know i don’t have any children of my own yet, but have been around kids my whole life and was in awe reading this book – it was pretty much my philosophy on paper. it all made sense to me. both when watching kids and as a middle school teacher, i yearn for more calmness/patience with kids and less competitiveness/rushing around. in fact, i have found that approaching situations at school in a calm/assertive way is much more influential than being loud. another key part of the book was about how french parents don’t dwell on guilt and don’t call themselves ‘bad parents’ for not doing small things… they feel like they are doing a good job. i feel like guilt can kill relationships- it’s a dangerous feeling.  druckerman mainly seems to be interested in learning how to discipline her children just enough so that she can get her own life back. “in france i regularly see what amounts to a minor miracle,” she writes, “adults in the company of small children at home, having entire cups of coffee and full-length adult conversations.” it’s hard to blame her: as she spends her nights miserably awake with her crying daughter, she is amazed to discover that her friends’ babies all sleep through the night; as her kid throws food in a tantrum, she watches in awe as other children sit contentedly through three-course meals and as her son treats the playground gate as a dare, she is baffled by the sight of other toddlers happily playing in the sandbox. 
*however, there were two things i did not agree with in the book: their lack of effort/belief in breastfeeding and the fact that women have around just three short months to get rid of their baby fat before being criticized and pressured by others. 
 

+ kids can spend time playing by themselves, and that’s a good thing. pamela writes: “french parents want their kids to be stimulated, but not all the time…french kids are—by design—toddling around by themselves….’the most important thing is that he learns to be happy by himself,’ she also talks about how american parents try to sign their kids up for every sport/activity, put them in pre-school at a very young age, and want their kids to reach milestones so much earlier than in france. i have thought for years, i truly think that toddlers {age: one, two, three} should be playing. simply playing.  they have their whole lives for structure. druckerman said her and her husband noticed in the french daycare system {which is totally different and absolutely amazing.} that there were just toys- no centers, music circles- just toys for the kids to play with. kids either went to pre-school around four or five {or many didn’t go at all.}  i spent my childhood constantly playing. playing and creating make-believe worlds with my sister, cousins, and the kids in our neighborhood… yes, my parents played with us– they read to us daily, we prayed together every single night before dinner/bed, we took nightly bike rides together as a family for ice cream/around the lake in my hometown… but when i look back, i played on my own/with my peers – so much. and i remember those times so fondly. i think this helped to make me more creative, independent, imaginative.