a letter to my son | today you turn two

dear sweet boy-

i love you. more than anything. more than a sunny day, a hazelnut latte, the calm ocean waves, sushi, or a good book. you made my world go ’round. watching you learn, grow, and experiment has given me so much happiness over the past two years. the moment i saw those pale blue balloons and found out you were a boy, i have experienced the most profound bond; a genuine connection to you. i could never have imagined how i would learn to love. how i would be challenged. i pray that you will never lose your contagious smile and your soft warm eyes.

you love elmo with a love that borders on obsession. you take fantastic care of your babies, always giving them kisses and tucking them in. the sight of a bus sends you into literal spasms of pure joy and you are quick to point out every single one in the city of charlotte. you also love trucks, cooking in your kitchen, when your dad comes home from work, playing at the park, donuts, music, walks, smoothies, and school. you still laugh whenever the wind hits you just right. you still take my face in your hands like you’ve been trying and trying to tell me something i haven’t understood. you still prefer to sleep on your stomach with your butt high in the air. your feet no longer fit in the palms of my hands. your feet used to fit in the palms of my hands. your toes and your cute button nose are my very favorites of all.

you are still the thing for which i am most profoundly grateful, still the someone who drives me to the ground- to renew and trust and seek after my maker, still my very best boy.

it has been the greatest honor carrying you, watching over you, protecting you with my life alone. it feels as though someone came in and rearranged all of my parts, carried them away, making sure only you remained. even my heart feels out of place- there is no denying that it has already expanded the length of mercury. i love you with all my heart. and more. oh, how i miss the baby, baby stages but watching you grow has been the dearest gift i ever could have been given. i am so proud of you and your tender heart and your adorable sense of humor. i am so proud.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

love forever,
your mom

photo | kinston photography

your love for stuffed animals started at day nine

…

parks james,

you are two!
(even though when we ask you how old you are going to be/are, you say, ‘six!!’)