during the late evening hours of december 17th, my maternal grandmother passed away. i was very close to her and she will always be a part of me. it is so hard to lose a grandparent (she was my last living one). in many ways, grandparents define our childhood. she was 95 years old and after 31 years, is finally reunited with her love.

she loved me unconditionally and i know she was very proud of me. and i will forever be proud of the life she lived.

i was able to grow up about fifteen minutes away from her and she was always present throughout my life. she was the most wonderful grandmother i ever could have been given and i just loved her so dearly. knowing she is at peace and in the arms of Jesus brings me hope and joy but the pain of losing her also hurts so tenderly. i feel grateful to have had forty-one years with her – my childhood and school years, sacraments and milestones and loves; watching me grow from a girl to a woman, she was able to attend our wedding in north carolina from her home in the countryside of ohio, and then met all of my sweet babies. they loved going to visit her and she loved them and their big brown eyes. when she met rosie for the first time (christmas of 2022) she kept telling me how beautiful she was- over and over- and that i got my little girl.

july 13, 1929 – december 17, 2024

my sister facetimed me on the last day of november and when i saw my grandma, i knew. i knew that she was at the end of her days on this earth and that heaven was near… she reassured us over the past few weeks that she was ready and so it’s been such a bittersweet holiday season for me. my niece, leona (7) played christmas songs on the piano as we drove home from being by the sea in florida. tears streamed my face, as i took in the moment. it was such a special and beautiful moment and i know that i will always remember it. it’s not a coincidence that she left us around christmas. it was her favorite (her and my mom were always the best magic makers) and some of my best memories in this one life, have been with her at christmas time. she loved to play kenny and dolly’s vinyl, ‘a christmas to remember,’ red poinsettias lined up while decorating sugar cookies, and the same tree year after year- some years we got to help her decorate it with her nostalgic ornaments and i loved that. “the little drummer boy” was her favorite … i just love the, “pa rum pum pum pum,” she would say. and i have heard this song at the most precious moments this month. and the church will be lined with red poinsettias next week…

christmas eve – my very favorite day of the year as a child and she passed exactly a week to the day.
this year, she will be celebrating with the King
i can picture all four of my grandparents sitting around the table together this year – laughing and playing cards and dancing and sharing memories

i remember driving around to look at christmas lights with her and my paternal grandpa, all dressed up after a fancy dinner, and going to see baby Jesus in the center of our hometown. there was usually snow and we would come back to a tree full of wrapped gifts from santa. it was common for santa to deliver presents on the eve where i grew up because most farmers had morning chores to attend to. i was able to spend almost every christmas eve of my life with her… and i will always have that. christmas day and easter as a child, too. and now, we will always think of her at christmas.

“Christmas is God’s way of whispering, “You are so loved.”
this message for her last day on this earth

my favorite song of 2024 was pink skies by zach bryan and last night on the way into the city for the charlotte ballet’s, the nutcracker, my oldest son and i saw the most beautiful and majestic sunset. to many more pink skies, gram – that you taught us to enjoy. then the sun fell and it became dark when we reached the city and the little drummer boy came on the radio. i really felt her as this year comes to an end…

my mom was adopted as a baby and my grandma always loved her unconditionally- just like her own. their bond was always extremely strong and her love for my mom was always so evident to me throughout my life. my grandma was my mom’s person. i was her oldest grandchild and always felt a strong bond with her as well. she loved me so beautifully – she gave grace and i have never once felt judged by her… i have only ever felt pure love from her kind soul.

my grandma had the most giving and generous heart:
“i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                  i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you.”
-ee cummings

she was the hardest working woman i have ever met. never complaining, she would would put on her overalls and work boots (in every type of weather and season) and would go out to milk the cows way before the sun rose and would work on their dairy farm daily. i remember the wind whipping and her trudging through slopes of snow on winter mornings; seeing her bundle up to go out, her dog, bambi, and all her barn cats by her side. she fed and took care of the animals and drove tractors and did manual labor and gave up on things in life like the ability to travel often – always with a smile. after retiring and selling their cows, she did travel- and she loved it.

things i always want to remember and signs of her love |

her love for her family – a mother of four and grandmother to fourteen and great grandmother to twenty-five (almost twenty-six). she loved children and animals and most of all, she loved the Lord

the way she loved her home- full of love and memories. she lived in it for almost seventy years

she never complained, never judged, never made comments about others- what a legacy. she was resilient, patient, gentle, self-less, and kind

countless sleepovers with my cousins. i loved the way she would peek her head through the crack in the doorway to check to see if we were awake in the morning… always to the smell of bacon and coffee

a love for yellow roses, just like my mom

the 12 days of christmas song to announce a trip to las vegas for her and my grandpa

how she would scrub us down with a bar of zest soap after a day of exploring outside on the farm- we were free range kids (and looking back.. what a gift to have had that!) we drove the riding lawn mower around at a young age, we played in the haymow with pitch forks and then jumped down onto the mounds of hay, how we piled into the light blue pick-up truck and took country drives to the fields, we caught crickets in peanut jars, threw corn cobs at the pigs… we had so much fun!

the movies: the beverly hillbillies and son in law

i loved her classy clothes and shoes and would always try on her lipsticks

the way she would fold me into a hug

my boys pushing her wheelchair around the grounds – around the pond and by the flowers and then to the water fountain; always looking for kittens

the last time i saw my grandma was in august of 2024 and i got to watch my boys sing and play the tambourine with a band while i held her hand and watched her enjoy the songs, and during my last facetime on december 5, she she told my mom after, “janelle called me!,” and she told me how much she loved me.

her name was yolanda catherine. and she loved it and that it started with a ‘y’

shopping trips with my mom and her

her eyes were like a new moon when she saw us

the wooden silverware box and her green daisy blossom floral plates

the lay’s potato chips and the gummy bears in the orange tupperware bowl in her corner cupboard

hide and seek in her closet that led to another room

square black and white photos in her coffee table

how she gave every grandchild an ornament every christmas- wrapped in a check box (boxes she always reused)

family picnics and her camera ready with film for each special event/holiday

grandparents day in elementary school with my grandpa charlie

she loved things that were ‘unique’

a refrigerator full of magnets from travels and a house full of her angel collection

her love for candy and her epic hiding spot – her underwear drawer!

the colors purple and yellow

the way she would take laps and walk around our house for exercise

her phone numbers on the window shutter that flipped

the year we all wore ugly sweaters on christmas day and she couldn’t get over how festive and cute we all looked

her fried chicken and pecan sandies and spaghetti o’s

visiting our grandpa’s grave at easter while the easter bunny came – all of our baskets lined up on her front porch

rainbow sherbet and putt putt golfing and dominoes and games of wiffle ball – she was always the pitcher

mixing up our names when she would call for us

how she would go out dancing every saturday night with my grandpa, ‘who’s gonna fill their shoes‘

she played cards (euchre) all the time and was hard to beat

she loved her july birthday and her birthstone, the ruby (when my daughter was born six days after hers – when we tried for almost two years to conceive her- i knew this was a symbol from above… i truly believed all of her great grandmothers played a role in creating her)

her stamped cross-stitch projects were masterfully done and always so beautiful and intricate- we all received birth announcements, stockings, blankets, etc.

klondike bars and games of animal bingo

her love for music (especially old country) and going to the movies

she was humble and loving and warm and safe- the best kind of grandma

always praying before supper and her famous angel food cake and rhubarb pie
“Blessed us, O Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord. Amen”

being a kid on the farm

a fifteen minute rest every day after lunch

pizza hut buffet and chinese food

something sweet (just a piece) after a meal

how the white church with the stained glass windows glowed every christmas day as we all gathered

she was hands-on and played with us all so much – she loved cards/board games, especially rummikub, but also made up her own and we would play them in the yard like drop the clothes pin in the jar. and she hardly ever lost her patience with us, even in the chaos.

her Catholic faith- she loved her church and her rosaries and how she always gave each of us a st. christopher medal when we turned sixteen. i will always remember the time in the ’90s when she really tried to make it to church with us- driving through an intense snowstorm we got halfway there and we turned around and she decided we would pray a rosary together instead.

she loved her faith, but was also open to all.

my grandma loved angels- she collected many over the years. and now she will be our angel forever. i lost my other grandmother when i was four years old, but i have always felt her presence in my life.. so that also gives me peace knowing that she will always be near…

when my sister told me that my mom and her siblings were surrounding her monday evening (december 16) and that they had played the little drummer boy, and prayed around her- i started to cry. my son, nash, kissed my cheek and said, “she will always be with you, momma.”

most of all, she taught me to take in the simple parts of life; i want to look out our windows at the birds resting from the sky and i want to always know when our roses and hibiscus are ready to be watered. i want to spend my days watching rosie pat her babies backs, and try on my shoes like i used to try on my gram’s, and learn the fine skill of stacking her blocks without having them crumble. i want to notice the little corners of my husbands mouth even more. i want to pick our produce from the farmer’s market on a saturday morning and spend too long smelling the clementines. i want to always travel the distance of my kids’ foreheads into the slope of his/her nose until they fall asleep.

grandma-

i will think of you on the awakened days of spring
the warmth of summer days by the ocean
when the wind is cool at dawn and dusk and everything is wonderfully colored
every beginning of winter; the unexpected gifts of Christmas – the twinkling lights, the angel on our tree, your favorite song, snow and stars

i want to rely on the miraculous timing of God- always.

thank you, sweet gram
for your love
i know there is a special place in heaven – just for you
where every day is like christmas
among the angels,
and the angels cried and rejoiced

for our
forever angel.

you deserve the best because you gave the best!
and i love you so.

this song | come to Jesus

And with your final heartbeat,
Kiss the world goodbye,
Then go in peace, and laugh on glory’s side… and

Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus and live,

Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus and live.

The post in loving memory of my sweet grandmother first appeared on Olive June.

we started this tradition last fall to mark the beginning of a new season and to celebrate three years in our home. the beginning of summer is usually spent at the beach and winter is christmas, but for spring and fall, we decided to celebrate with a family dinner in our sunroom. my second, nash, loves to help me set up the table and decorate and my oldest loves to be the waiter/butler. it’s become the most special evening together- quality time, our love for the seasons (one of my favorite things in life), our home, food and drinks we love. this year, we listened to a michael jackson vinyl and had thai food and sushi. my husband made some cocktails and we shared our favorite things we love to do in fall underneath the market lights with a crisp wind coming through.

here are a few memories from this year:

a look back at past dinners |

autumn 2023
spring 2024

The post an annual autumn family dinner first appeared on Olive June.

written on the evening of june 12, 2024 | 

today you are six, my love
my boy of wonder and light
lover of the color yellow and baking and picking flowers and making others laugh
a day full of joy and memories; magical moments intertwined 
i would sail to the moon and back 
to make you feel my love
happy birthday, nash charlie 

The post a birthday for nash first appeared on Olive June.

as a family, my husband and i try to spend individual time with our children and lately, i have gone on a date with both of my sons. the younger son and i went to a flower field a few days before he turned six and we picked a jar full. he loves flowers and baking (we went to a bakery after) and art. my other son loves sports and reading most so i took him to a local tea house (one of my very favorite spots in the charlotte area / it’s in monroe, north carolina and is called, a cause for tea) where we read, enjoyed treats, and played a baseball card game. he also loves to antique and thrift with me so we did that afterwards.

The post an afternoon tea for two first appeared on Olive June.

“If the month of June was your friend

If June was your friend, she’d be like a breath of fresh air. You’d call her when you were about to lose your mind. Come over, she’d say, and when you arrived, she’d guide you straight to the porch, pour you a cold drink, bring out a plate of crackers and cheese, You’d feel like you could exhale, finally, around June. You’d tell her everything because she never judged. She’d make you feel calm and energized at the same time. I’m so lucky to know you, she’d say, after you wondered if you had overshared, and you’d feel good about your mere existence. Same, you’d say, because it did feel like Luck had written your name down, sent June to earth for people just like you.”

@hannahrowrites

and a few photos from a magical time in charleston, south carolina (my favorite u.s city!) with my hometown friends last weekend | 

happy june to you

The post borrowed words first appeared on Olive June.

01. my parents were here to spend the weekend with us; extra special on mother’s day
02. my mom and i went to lunch and enjoyed an espresso martini, salads, and a bowl of fries with yummy old bay aioli (rosemont- loved it!)
03. lots of antique strolls and treasures
04. the best of all was a dreamy day at ruffin’s roost – ‘spring at the farm.’ a twice a year event with lots of vendors, live music, food, a coffee cart in the country – it was an absolute dream this time around (perfect weather and the whole fam was there to enjoy)
05. treats from the batchmaker and the best strawberry cheesecake for dessert
06. breakfast in bed on sunday (courtesy of my 5 year old) he included his vintage treasures from the day before on the tray and his soccer trophy from the day before as well- he said it was, “for being the world’s best mom” i melted – forever. he is such a charmer.
07. our seafood boil underneath the market lights
08. my oldest son, had his first home run and my parents were here to see it! we celebrated with pitchers of margaritas and mexican food afterwards
09. jewelry and iced chais at twenty two west’s new space (it’s so gorgeous and fun!)
10. a walk around a nature preserve near us
11. sunshine and coffees and reading outside
12. a neighborhood ice cream truck and sushi friday evening

The post what i always want to remember | a mother’s day edition first appeared on Olive June.

here are my reads and what i thought |

01. the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid | 4/5 stars
02. in a holidaze by christina lauren | 4/5 stars
03. an american in provence: art, life and photography by jamie beck | 5/5 stars
04. sam by allegra goodman | 3/5 stars
05. every summer after by carley fortune | 4/5 stars
06. the book of lost friends by lisa wingate | 3/5 stars
07. the guest list by lucy foley | 4/5 stars
08. the light we lost by jill santopolo | 5/5 stars
09. i found you by lisa jewell | 4/5 stars
10. the extraordinary life of sam hell | 4/5 stars
11. how the word is passed by clint smith | 4/5 stars
12. the lives we actually have: 100 blessings for imperfect days by kate bowler and jessica richie | 5/5 stars
13. flight patterns by karen white | 4/4 stars
14. becoming free indeed: my story of disentangling faith from fear by jinger duggar vuolo | 3/4 stars
15. baby-led weaning by teresa pitman | 3/5 stars
16. the last mrs. parrish by liv constantine | 4/5 stars
17. the measure by nikki erlick | 3/5 stars (but i have thought about this book so much over the past year so maybe 4 stars!)
18. the light between oceans by m.l stedman | 4/5 stars
19. an invisible thread by laura schroff and alex tresniowski | 4/5 stars
20. the life council: 10 friends every woman needs by laura tremaine | 4/5 stars (also think about this one a lot)
21. a living remedy by nicole chung | 4/5 stars
22. in five years by rebecca serle | 4/5 stars
23. own your space by alexandra gater | 4/5 stars
24. we all want impossible things by catherine newman | 4/5 stars
25. the summer i turned pretty (summer #1) by jenny han | 3/5 stars (loved the television series so much more!)
26. black cake by charmaine wilkerson | 4/5 stars
27. what the wind knows by amy harmon | 4/5 stars
28. on our best behavior by elise loehnen | 4/5 stars
29. a quitter’s paradise by elysha chang | 2/5 stars
30. raising good humans by hunter clarke-fields | 4/5 stars
31. the one hundred years of lenni and margot by marianne cronin | 5/5 stars
32. the secret to southern charm by kristy woodson harvey | 3/5 stars
33. you better be lighting by andrea gibson | 5/5 stars
34. holy moments by matthew kelly | 4/4 stars
35. lord of the butterflies by andrea gibson | 5/5 stars
36. a newport summer by ruthie sommers | 5/5 stars
37. issac’s storm by erik larson | 2/5 stars
38. the in-between by hadley vlahos | 5/5 stars
39. the spare room by andrea bartz | 3/5 stars
40. a lovely life: savoring simple joys in every season by melissa michaels | 4/5 stars
41. where the yellow flowers bloom by kim cantin | 4/5 stars
42. this time tomorrow by emma straub | 3/5 stars
43. crying in h mart by michelle zauner | 5/5 stars
44. enchantment: awakening wonder in an anxious age by katherine may | 3/5 stars
45. the lies i tell by julie clark | 4/5 stars
46. imagine heaven by john burke | 5/5 stars
47. mexican gothic by silvia moreno-garcia | 2/5 stars
48. happy place by emily henry | 3/5 stars
49. talking at night by claire daverly | 3/5 stars
50. shark heart: a love story by emily habeck | 5/5 stars
51. rebel homemaker: food, family, life by drew barrymore | 4/5 stars
52. how to stay married: the most insane love story ever told by harrison scott key | 4/5 stars
53. the creative act: a way of being by rick rubin | 4/5 stars
54. the only one left by riley sager | 4/5 stars
55. i’ll show myself out: essays on midlife and motherhood by jessi klein | 4/5 stars
56. lessons in chemistry by bonnie garmus | 4/5 stars (i liked the book but loved the television series!)
57. christmas in the cottage: come home to comfort & joy by cindy cooper | 4.5 stars
58. what my bones know: a memoir of healing from complex trauma by stephanie foo | 5/5 stars
59. fourth wing by rebecca yarros | 4/5 stars
60. the river we remember by william kent krueger | 4/5 stars

my very favorite books were: the one hundred years of lenni and margot, the in-between, and imagine heaven
i also loved these coffee table reads a lot: an american in provence and a newport summer

this year, i set a goal to read 45 books and am currently reading book #33. i love using our public library (the library has been a love of mine since i was a very young child) and then the app, goodreads (if you are on there, come find me!)

what books have you loved recently?

The post my reading challenge | 2023 first appeared on Olive June.

this view on May really spoke to me | 

If the month of May was your friend

If May was your friend, she’d plan a party for everything. Birthdays, baby showers, Monday night karaoke just because. Everything deserves a celebration, she’d say. You’d get a postcard from her, inviting you to a day of outdoor adventure. Coffee in the park, biking to the lake, jumping in for the first swim of the season. In the evening, she’d suggest dinner al fresco. You’d wonder if maybe it was time you head home to get things done. May would read your mind. Listen, she’d say, gesturing to the water and the blue sky and the flowering trees. To your friends laughing together in the nearby grass. Listen. There really is nothing more important than this.

@hannahrowrites

The post borrowed words first appeared on Olive June.

“Tell your children
who you were before them. 
Teach them your middle
name and how you spent
summers as a kid. Tell
them what your biggest
and craziest dreams were, 
what you liked to do after
school. Teach your
children all about you and 
share all those moments 
with them.”

-Jessica Jocelyn
 

The post tell your children first appeared on Olive June.

simply loving | 

01. a cream flowy dress for summer
02. new trader joe’s products for april 
03. some of my favorite instagram accounts/homes have been featured on homeworthy lately and it’s been the best! 
04. rosie’s little yellow shoes 
05. dried floral front door wreaths
06. these energy balls are delish! they don’t last long in our house – we all love them! 
07. floral paintings to and gingham 
08. the way my kitty snuggles up next to me 
09. i have a new baby/kids vintage clothing line in one of my booths – something i have dreamt about for years! so excited for this…

what are you simply loving

The post simply loving first appeared on Olive June.